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Yes, negotiation does come into picture when sex is involved. It depends on whether the person wants to consensually enter into sexual intercourse or not and on how far the other partner wants to go. Sometimes, one partner may not want to go all the way while the other would, this can be sorted out with talking it out with your partner about how far you want to go and how much are you willing to give away. Sometimes, a partner may not be happy with the negotiations but you can always talk it out. Breaking these limits may also be termed as sexual assault.

Risk Factors

Yes, there are risks involved with negotiations. For instance, it may lead to one of the partner being unhappy owing to where the negotiations have reached. This may harm the relationship or may lead to sexual violence. Negotiations are a very important aspect of sexual intercourse and 2 people have to understand each other when undergoing such kind of negotiations. For, if you don’t understand where your partner is coming from, you will not reach a consensus and this will lead to complications between the two of you. Hence, always talk things out.


While negotiations aren’t always a bad thing, it may sometimes indeed cause more harm than it necessarily should. The following are the leading causes of negotiation –

  • Lack of trust

Often, this is one of the leading causes of negotiation. A partner cannot fully trust his or her better half and hence, isn’t willing to let them completely in. It is necessary to build trust before one is willing to enter into a sexual intercourse with someone. It takes time to build trust between two partners and only when there is trust can 2 people enter into a sexual relationship.

  • Lack of communication

If your partner is suddenly unwilling in bed or you don’t find them responsive enough, this can be boiled down to lack of communication. For, had the two of you talked things out beforehand, this moment would never have come. However, since you haven’t communicated well enough, it will lead to untold negotiations during sexual intercourse.

  • Health issues

Sometimes, a partner may have issues related to sex or general health issues such as backache or an injury. Under such circumstances, negotiations become necessary, and only your partner can best tell you how much and what kind of pain he or she is suffering from and how much can he or she move.

  • Mentality

The mentality of a person also goes a long way as far as negotiations are concerned. A person may not be open-minded about sex and may want to take it slow. The other partner has to be patient and understanding in such scenario. Slowly and gradually, such barriers can be crossed.

  • Issues from the past

A child may have had bad sexual experiences from the past which he or she may not have liked and a repeat sexual experience would lead to memories from the past. Therefore, it is necessary that such situation be tackled carefully and with love.


The diagnosis of sexual negotiations is unnecessary because it means that two people are talking it out about how far they want to go in their sex life. However, lack of negotiation can cause a lot of problems and this is what should be diagnosed. Hence, if you sense a problem while in a relationship, then you should definitely bring it up and talk to your partner about it. For, this is the best way, lack of sexual negotiation can be diagnosed.


The only treatment to overcome this problem is to talk to each other, understand each other and build trust. It is necessary that the two of you are on the same page about sexual interaction because sex is one of the key factors in a happy relationship. You could visit a counsellor if talking to each other isn’t working out. However, both of you need to understand that sexual negotiations are normal in any relationship and there is no need to feel ashamed or uncomfortable about it. It is one of the best ways to break barriers and come to terms with each other.