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Sexual Intercourse

Sexual intercourse

 

What is sexual intercourse?

The literal meanings of intercourse are association and interaction. In sexuality, it means putting one person’s sex organ (commonly penis) in to another person’s body (vagina, anus or mouth). Among heterosexual partners, sexual intercourse can happen by penetrating the penis into a woman’s vagina (vaginal sex) or anus (anal sex) or mouth (oral sex). In homosexual partners, sexual intercourse happens between two men either into anus or mouth.

 

What is ‘normal’ sexual intercourse?

Honestly, there is nothing normal or abnormal in sexual intercourse. The vaginal sex is the only way by which pregnancy could happen and for the same reason it is generally accepted as the ‘normal’. Just because pregnancy does not happen by anal sex or oral sex, it does not mean they are abnormal sexual intercourse. They are just different. Many men and women relate mouth for eating and anus for defecation (passing stools) only and for them anal and oral sex seem disgusting and perceive it abnormal. On the other hand, many men and women see anal and oral sex as more pleasurable and a safe alternative as it does not result in pregnancy.

 

Is it true that sex is all about penetrating the hard penis in to a vagina?

Absolutely ‘NO’…………. Millions of men across the globe think that sex is all about intercourse with a ‘hard’ (erected) penis. Also, these men generally equate that a good (strong erection, lengthy penis, doing it longer time, etc) sexual intercourse to their masculinity (i.e a true man should be able to perform a great sexual intercourse and have the best penis in the world). This thinking error creates problems and dysfunctions for thousands of men. Partly, it is the society and media that make many men (especially young men) to think this way. In reality, sex is much broader and deeper than just being able to perform intercourse, last longer or having lengthy penis.

 

Do I need to use condoms for vaginal intercourse only?

Yes, if the reason for using condom is to avoid pregnancy. But to prevent infections including HIV, it is important to use condoms for any sexual intercourse (vaginal, anal or oral).

 

Will sexual intercourse be painful? If so, how to overcome the pain?

Yes, if there is no adequate lubrication between the organs of intercourse. In vaginal intercourse, stimulate the woman for adequate time (foreplay) (length of stimulation varies from person to person) until she becomes wet. If not, some water based lubricants like KY jelly could be used. In anal sex, artificial lubricant is the only choice. Lubrication is not much of an issue for oral sex as saliva acts as a lubricant.

 

What is dry sex?

Many men like to have ‘dry’ sex, which is penetrating the penis into a woman’s vagina before it is wet (lubricated). It may be more pleasurable for the man but certainly is very painful for the other person. It is important to care for the person whom you love and/or have sex with.

 

Should intercourse happen compulsorily on the first night of marriage?

NO. But many men think that they should prove to their wife that they are truly strong ‘man’ and want to perform in the best way. This makes many men feel very anxious (performance anxiety) which eventually results in accidental failure. After some time, many men learn to overcome their anxiety and fear and have no problem. But for others, that initial one failure leads to shame and embarrassment that then leads to further failure. This enormous expectation to ‘perform’ well on the first night creates very many problems for thousands of men especially for those who had no prior experience with sex.

 

Is sex a natural skill given to all men and women by God?

No. Sex is a learned behaviour and a sophisticated skill. If you can play cricket to perfection at the very first time of holding the cricket bat, or can drive car without making any mistakes at the very first time, then you may be able to perform sex well at the very first time. Reality is, you can’t play cricket or drive car to perfection at the first time. But you have to learn from your own mistakes and then slowly master the game or driving. Likewise, sex.